Looking for some cute and funny dog quotes to put a smile on your face? You’re in luck! I’ve put together a list of my favorite humorous dog quotes. And if you want even more, make sure to check out our list of the 100 best dog quotes.
Here are 50 of the cutest and funniest dog quotes:
1. “No one appreciates the genius of your conversation as much as your dog.” – Christopher Morley
2. “Ever thought about what our dogs must think of us? We come home from the grocery store with chicken, pork, and beef. They must think we’re the best hunters ever!” – Anne Tyler
3. “The best way to learn how to enjoy life is from a dog.” – Nils Sandmann
4. “Without my dog, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty.” – Unknown
5. “If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?” – Unknown
6. “I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn’t excited to meet my dog. That’s like not wanting to meet my mom.” – Bonnie Schacter
7. “I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. They have to pick up food they drop on the floor.” – Unknown
8. “Handle every situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.” – Unknown
9. “I don’t think twice about picking up my dog’s poop, but if I see another dog’s poop next to it, I think, ‘Eww, dog poop!’” – Jonah Goldberg
10. “What do dogs do on their day off? They can’t lie around – that’s their job!” – George Carlin
11. “If you want the best seat in the house, you’ll have to move the dog.” – Unknown
12. “There’s no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.” – Ben Williams
13. “There’s only one smartest dog in the world, and every boy has it.” – Louis Sabin
14. “Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” – Groucho Marx
15. “Dogs never bite me. Just humans.” – Marilyn Monroe
16. “To keep things in perspective, everyone should have a dog that worships them and a cat that ignores them.” – Derek Bruce
17. “Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as proof that you’re wonderful.” – Ann Landers
18. “My cats inspire me daily. They inspire me to get a dog!” – Greg Curtis
19. “Dogs are like potato chips. You can’t have just one.” – Unknown
20. “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” – Andy Rooney
21. “You can say any silly thing to a dog, and it will look at you as if to say, ‘Wow, you’re right! I would’ve never thought of that!’” – Dave Barry
22. “A dog can express more with its tail in minutes than its owner can with their tongue in hours.” – Unknown
23. “To his dog, every man is Napoleon; that’s why every dog is so popular.” – Aldous Huxley
24. “Dogs don’t just lie around lazily, they decorate the room.” – Unknown
25. “Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.” – Unknown
26. “I don’t feel at home without some dog hair.” – Unknown
27. “Does he bite? No, he swallows everything whole!” – Unknown
28. “Ever walk into a room and forget why? That’s how dogs spend their lives.” – Sue Murphy
29. “A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well—almost.” – Charlotte Gray
30. “Dogs teach us a crucial lesson: The mailman is not to be trusted.” – Sian Ford
31. “If your dog thinks you’re the best person in the world, don’t seek a second opinion.” – Jim Fiebig
32. “Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.” – Unknown
33. “A dog doesn’t know how to spell love, but they show it every day.” – Unknown
34. “A well-trained dog won’t try to share your lunch, but will make you feel so guilty you can’t enjoy it.” – Helen Thomson
35. “Dogs are great. Even ‘bad’ dogs, if you can call them that, might be the best of them all.” – John Grogan
36. “I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quick…”
